what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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