Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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