Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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