I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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