Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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