Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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