He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
