Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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