This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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