were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
3pm strippers are depressing
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
