Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
