Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
