I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
