how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
