I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
