I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
