we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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