its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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