We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
