I love black thongs
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
