she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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