Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
