ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
