I wannas sexs uuuuu
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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