nutella sex= disaster
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
