Apparently you make a good broom.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
