he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
