That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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