Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
