every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
