jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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