Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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