Swine flu. Run for my life!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
