my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
NoShamevember. You game?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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