I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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