Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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