I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
