god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
