i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
