If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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