Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize