lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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