dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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