okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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