just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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