i permit you to call me
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i dont even know how to be here
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
