This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
