:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
