i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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