I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
