so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
