i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
