You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
