Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
