He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
They took my balls.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
