ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I have already put on my inside pants.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
