FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
