I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize