you're like a bully in the Christmas story
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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