What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
