I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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