went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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