i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
