do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
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