3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
